Despite the years that have passed and the lessons I’ve learned, I often still feel like that awkward, idealistic eighteen-year-old kid who just graduated high school. From countless conversations with people I deeply respect and admire, it seems all leaders grapple with imposter syndrome, and I’m no exception. I know I’ve been successful, but on the inside, I’m still that goofy ’90s kid with a too-big laugh and an irrational love of flannel shirts.

As I’ve taken on leadership roles, I’ve tried hard to stay authentic and approachable. Yes, I have a position of authority, but deep down, I’m just a regular person trying to make a difference. I’m not scary or intimidating… right?

If only it were that simple. Although I may still feel like that completely unintimidating eighteen-year-old, I now hold power over others. I can impact people’s lives in very significant ways.

While I strive to be approachable and supportive to those I work most closely with, there are others in my organization who I don’t work with that often. To them, I am more a boss than a fully formed three-dimensional human being.  For some, interacting with me is like being summoned to the principal’s office or pulled over by the police. No matter how much I try to be genuine and relatable, no matter how much I have the other person’s best interest at heart, my position can trigger stress and anxiety. I want to be oxytocin for everyone, but I am cortisol for many.

Leading with authenticity is about being unabashedly human, but it’s also about being humane—and that requires us to understand that power is threatening, even in the most well-intentioned hands.

So, what can we do to bridge this gap and lead authentically? We can use tactics like skip-level meetings, informal lunches, and practicing “management by walking around” so that our teams experience us as human beings apart from our positions. We can ensure that our interactions with others aren’t always transactional. Ultimately, however, we must acknowledge that it is our job as leaders to be aware of the power distance and to moderate our behavior so that we don’t inadvertently trigger stress or panic in the people we support.

Cover photo by Scott Rodgerson on Unsplash